The first thing i did was step away and evaluate...not others, but myself. I noticed I desperately chased after others for their approval when I didn't even have my own to begin with. As much as i thought I loved myself, the truth is i really didn't...Why would I need others to validate my worth if I already knew deep down that I was worthy? I realize in order to appreciate the good times you have to endure the bad. Likewise, you need people in your life who don't love you and don't accept you in order to appreciate the ones who do. After being repeatedly rejected, you learn to fight for yourself. You learn to love yourself the more you fight for yourself. I can't live my life hating the people who hated me because ironically they are the ones who taught me how to love myself. You learn from the ones you lose & from the ones who lose you. When you learn to live with yourself and love yourself you open a door to a whole new world of people that can do the same, there is nothing greater than that. I have shown myself my Love and the world has showered me with more! If you feel unworthy inside, then don't be surprised when others drop you to the side and find you unworthy as well. After truly, deeply loving myself mentally & physically, I was then able to attract lovers in my life who loved themselves the same way! Let me tell you, there's nothing more beautiful than being around people who love like you do (:
So this past summer I became so in love with myself that I decided to marry myself. Sounds strange, doesn't it? lol let me explain...I went to a spiritual ACIM "Gift of Lilies" Conference and everyone there had married themselves before marrying their spouse... I thought that was crazy! But then after really talking it out with everyone and thinking seriously about it, it made perfect sense. They helped me understand what that really meant. I thought the idea of marrying yourself was insane. But think about it, how can you marry someone else without first marrying yourself? How can u possibly commit to another person for the rest of your life without first committing to yourself? How can you live up to your vows with another person when you don't even have any vows to live up to with yourself!?Now I didn't get in the white dress and put a ring on my finger or anything like that although some people do! lol i thought that was too much! But I did make vows to myself. I did make a commitment to myself which only further strengthened my relationship with God. I realized, how could I possibly honor the relationship I have with my God if I never honored the relationship I have with myself?
Self-Love is so simple, yet nowhere close to being easy. In fact, loving myself is the hardest thing I've ever had to do...It's a full-time job that comes with endless benefits (:
If you can relate to anything I've experienced, let me leave you with this:
Don't self-loathe any longer, start self-loving instead!
by Madisyn Taylor
By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.
The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.
Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.
As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.